Introduction
A marriage in crisis can make one feel like they are floating aimlessly through life. Things become trickier when one partner is considering ending the relationship while the other is committed to making it work. Being in such a state of emotional limbo is not only devastating, it is paralyzing. In circumstances like these, conventional couples counseling may not be the most appropriate option. The premise of conventional couples counseling is that the couple is willing to put in the effort to improve their relationship. But what if one is not willing? That is where Discernment Counseling comes in (Hardy, n.d.).
We specialize in relationship clarity therapy at ALL IN Therapy Clinic in Minnesota, assisting couples experiencing marriage uncertainty in making knowledgeable choices about their future. No matter where you are—in Minneapolis, Edina, Golden Valley, or even remotely—our staff is here to help. We provide professional coaching through organized, short-term sessions that aim to clarify and guide you.
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is for unsure couples having a “mixed agenda”. When one spouse is strongly committed to the marriage while the other is on the fence or has conflicting feelings about staying or leaving. Couples who are about to divorce or going through marriage uncertainty might benefit from discernment therapy (Doherty & Harris, 2017). By developing a better grasp of the dynamics of the marriage and how each partner has contributed to the issues, discernment counseling aims to assist mixed-agenda couples in making more informed decisions on the future of their partnership (Doherty & Harris, 2017).
Who Can Benefit from Discernment Counseling?
This type of relationship clarity therapy is ideal if you or your partner are:
- Experiencing marriage uncertainty and emotional disconnection.
- Revolving around the same pointless arguments and lacking resolution.
- Not ready or aligned to start comprehensive marriage counseling.
- Trying to make a thoughtful decision between separation vs. reconciliation.
- Have already tried couples counseling, but still feel stuck
How Discernment Counseling Works
Phase 1: Individual Reflection: It entails one-on-one sessions between therapist and client in which clients share their thoughts, emotions, and future goals. When one partner in the relationship is considering leaving, having a private space like this might help them feel safe enough to talk about their feelings (Doherty et al., 2016b).
Phase 2: Gaining Clarity: The therapist and partner work together to identify the relationship’s strengths, weaknesses, and patterns. Those considering divorce therapy or looking for marriage guidance therapy must first complete this stage.
Phase 3: Decision making: Both partners will have the opportunity to think critically about the relationship, their own goals, and aspirations. The three possible outcomes of this therapy for unsure couples are:
- Maintaining the status quo.
- Move toward separation or divorce.
- Commit to a six-month period of reconciliation therapy with clear goals (Doherty et al., 2016a; Doherty & Harris, 2017).
In terms of how to decide on divorce, this stage encourages intentional, thoughtful decisions that considers all people involved.
Number of Sessions: If you are looking for relationship decision therapy with structure but not continuing treatment, discernment counseling may be a good fit since it usually only requires one to five sessions. It is the bridge between separation vs. reconciliation counseling.
Why Choose ALL IN Therapy Clinic for Discernment Counseling in Minnesota?
At ALL IN Therapy Clinic, we understand that facing marriage uncertainty is emotionally taxing. That’s why we offer an ideal solution for those seeking relationship clarity therapy, considering divorce therapy, or support with separation vs. reconciliation counseling and marriage guidance therapy.
What Sets Us Apart:
Experienced Therapists: Specialists in relationship decision therapy, guiding couples through discernment counseling with compassion and clarity.
Non-Judgmental Approach: We provide a safe space for therapy for unsure couples to explore options without pressure or bias.
Flexible Scheduling: In-person couples counseling is available in Minneapolis, Edina, and Golden Valley, plus convenient virtual sessions.
Collaborative Decision-Making: Partners work both individually and together to navigate marriage uncertainty and determine how to decide on divorce or reconciliation.
We’re here to help you clarify your direction—not push you one way or the other.
Common Concerns About Discernment Counseling
Many couples have inquiries and concerns ahead of initiating discernment counseling. Some typical ones are as follows:
What if we decide to separate? Of course, our skilled therapists will be there to help you navigate the challenges of separation with empathy and understanding. Particularly if there will be children involved, we will assist you in starting the process with care. What if one of us wants to stay together but the other wants to leave? It is a typical occurrence and the main reason why discernment counseling is so useful. Our expert therapist facilitates the exploration of competing agendas without pressuring either partner into making a conclusion they are not ready to make.
What if I’m afraid of hurting my partner? A lot of emotions go into making decisions about getting a divorce or getting back together. Our scientifically proven methods promote compassionate communication, so that each partner may listen and communicate with care. Is Discernment Counseling the same as couples therapy? Discernment counseling is short-term and decision-focused. It differs from traditional couples therapy in the way that it helps unsure couples to decide if they want to take traditional couples therapy or want to their separate ways.
References
- Doherty, W. J., & Harris, S. M. (2017). Helping couples on the brink of divorce: Discernment counseling for troubled relationships (pp. ix, 229). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/0000029-000
- Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., & Wilde, J. L. (2016a). Discernment Counseling for “Mixed-Agenda” Couples. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 42(2), 246–255. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12132
- Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., & Wilde, J. L. (2016b). Discernment Counseling for “Mixed-Agenda” Couples. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 42(2), 246–255. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12132
- Hardy, N. (n.d.). Discernment Counseling: Treating Couples Unsure About Continuing Their Marriage.