Root Causes of Relationship Problems

Introduction

The majority of Americans (64 percent) report being happy in their relationships. However, what about the other 36 percent, though?

For those who are struggling with relationship problems or marriage problems, it’s important to understand the root causes of these issues. Because of this, below are some of the most common questions about relationship and marital problems.

Table of Contents

(click on a question below to be directed quickly)

How do you know when your relationship is in trouble?
What are the most common marital problems?
Why do good relationships fail?
Is the relationship the problem, or is it us individually?
How do you discover the root causes of relationship problems?
References

How Do You Know When Your Relationship Is in Trouble?

Here are some signs that might indicate you need to start working on your relationship with your partner:

• You and your partner argue or fight more often than usual
• You’ve stopped fighting altogether and co-exist in silence
• You and your partner are actively looking for things to be annoyed by
• You and your partner have stopped confiding in one another
• There’s a lack of intimacy (15-20 percent of couples have not been intimate in the last year).

What Are the Most Common Marital Problems?

Once a couple notices a problem, the next step is to get to the root.

There are lots of reasons why a relationship might be struggling. Because of this, we provided some of the most common marital problems that can eventually lead to divorce:

• Growing Apart Emotionally: Because when partners don’t share their feelings, they may start to become distant and disconnected.
• Finances: Money problems can put a strain on relationships and cause serious conflict.
• Lack of Sex: A lack of intimacy can also strain relationships and exacerbate other issues.
• Communication Problems: Poor communication makes it hard for partners to understand what the other is experiencing. In turn, this makes it hard to fix the problem.
• Poor Conflict Resolution: This can make problems get worse.
• Disagreements Around Parenting: Disagreements about parenting often create tension in the home.
• Not Having Fun Together: Some partners are too serious and don’t spend time having fun and relaxing. Thus, they may grow distant or start to resent each other.
• Issues with Your Partner’s Friends or Family: Poor relationships with a partner’s family or friends can often create tension in the home.

Why Do Good Relationships Fail?

If any of the issues mentioned above start to creep into a relationship and aren’t addressed right away, they can create more serious problems. Some of these problems may feel unfixable. In turn, this is why couples need to be on the lookout for potential issues so they can tackle them before they escalate.

Another potential reason for good relationships to fall apart is the fact that people have higher expectations for relationships now than they’ve had in the past.

According to Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., because relationships are a choice these days, mediocrity isn’t an option. People strive to have the best relationship.

Many people expect the best in relationships and don’t want to settle. In some cases, this may lead to partners being overly picky or critical of each other, even though their relationship is quite good.

Is the Relationship the Problem, or Is It Us Individually?

Often, the answer is both.

There may be issues with the way two partners communicate or handle conflict. However, resolving those issues requires both partners. They need to work as individuals (as well as together) to change the way they address problems.

This is why it’s sometimes beneficial for people dealing with relationship challenges to attend couples counseling and individual counseling.

Lastly, some  problems feel serious enough to end it. If are not sure if ending it is right for you, consider Discernment Counseling.

How Do You Discover the Root Causes of Relationship Problems?

One of the most effective ways to discover the root causes of relationship problems is to attend marriage counseling or couples counseling.

Further, 98 percent of couples report receiving “good” or “excellent” couples therapy. So, the chances of it working out are quite high. After all, an objective third party is often more adept at identifying the root of the problem and helping the couple to come up with solutions.

References:

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. About Marriage and Family Therapists. https://www.aamft.org/About_AAMFT/About_Marriage_and_Family_Therapists.aspx

Reasons for divorce and openness to marital reconciliation. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 53(6), 453-463.

Kim, J. H., Tam, W. S., & Muennig, P. (2017). Sociodemographic correlates of sexlessness among American adults and associations with self-reported happiness levels: Evidence from the US general social survey. Archives of sexual behavior, 46(8), 2403-2415.

eHarmony. (Feb 08, 2018). 64 percent of Americans say they are happy in their relationship. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/64-percent-of-americans-say-theyre-happy-in-their-relationships-300595502.html

Disclaimer: ALL IN Therapy Clinic aims to improve people’s lives. We do this through providing effective mental health counseling by passionate professionals. Inspired by this, we write content for your own education. Also, our content is researched, cited, reviewed, and edited by licensed mental health professionals.  However, the information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.  Additionally, it should not be used in place of the advice of a qualified healthcare provider.