A couple’s bond can be shaken to its very core by infidelity, a painful and complicated betrayal of trust in a relationship. Infidelity can have long lasting impacts on a relationship and can be hard for a couple to navigate on their own. Intensive Couple’s Counseling can aid couples in their route to recovery and trust. The article explores the complexities of infidelity, how it affects relationships, and how intensive counseling can help mend broken bonds.
Table Of Contents
What Causes Someone To Cheat On Their Partner?
How Does Infidelity Impact A Couple?
Can A Couple Heal After Infidelity?
Should We Do Intensive Couples Counseling?
Does Couples Counseling After Infidelity Work To Save The Relationship?
How Do I Find A Couples Counselor Specializing In Infidelity?
The Bottom Line
What Causes Someone To Cheat On Their Partner?
A multitude of underlying variables frequently contribute to infidelity; it doesn’t just happen. There are many different reasons why people cheat, ranging from unresolved problems and communication breakdowns to emotions of neglect or unhappiness. An analysis of 495 people revealed eight main reasons why people commit infidelity: feelings of unfulfilled love, rage, low self-worth, indecisiveness, emotional neglect, sexual desires and external factors (Selterman et al., 2021). It’s critical to understand that these reasons are internal to the person committing infidelity and do not necessarily place responsibility on the partner that was betrayed.
Over 40% of married couples experience infidelity. According to statistics, men are more likely than women to have extramarital affairs, which are frequently motivated by a need for greater attention or sexual activity (Institute for Family Studies, 2018).
How Does Infidelity Impact A Couple?
Infidelity has severe and long-lasting effects that affect both partners emotionally, psychologically and even physically. Trust is pertinent in any relationship, and when it is broken, bitterness and insecurity follow. Rage, depression, anxiety, increased distress, post-traumatic stress (PTSD), shame and self-blame may be often experienced by one or both partners.
The betrayed partner frequently experiences feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, while the guilty person battles feelings of remorse, shame and fear of losing their significant other (Rokach & Chan, 2023; Sly, 2021). Research indicates that 59% of couples who experience infidelity eventually file for divorce, underscoring the severe damage that infidelity can cause to a relationship (Scott et al., 2013).
Photo by: Stas Knop
Can A Couple Heal After Infidelity?
Healing from infidelity is possible, despite the fact that the path to rehabilitation may appear difficult. However, starting a path of reflection, forgiveness and reconciliation calls for a commitment from both parties. It requires time, tolerance and steadfast work on the part of both sides to rebuild trust. Couples can work through the hard emotions and mend their relationship with the help of an experienced therapist.
Each partner must consciously work to build their relationships and get back in touch with one another in order for their relationship to heal. Through forgiveness, it’s possible for the betrayed partner to heal from doubt and anger. When it comes to the partner who committed the infidelity, researchers have found that they do not pursue self-forgiveness until their partner has gone through significant recovery (Fife et al., 2023).
Should We Do Intensive Couples Counseling?
This is a question that frequently comes up when dealing with the repercussions of infidelity. An extensive and structured method to cope with the fallout from infidelity is provided by intensive couples counseling. Intensive Couple’s Counseling is defined by immersed treatment sessions spread over a longer time frame.
In contrast to conventional counseling, which could entail weekly meetings, intensive counseling gives couples the chance to focus on their problems more deeply in a shorter amount of time. Couples receiving intense treatment are more likely to see notable gains in their communication and marital satisfaction.
Does Couples Counseling After Infidelity Work To Save The Relationship?
There is ample evidence to support the effectiveness of couples counseling in preserving relationships after infidelity. Research indicates that couples who receive counseling are more likely to report feeling less distressed, better communication and greater relationship satisfaction (Bradbury & Bodenmann, 2020).
In addition, counseling offers a secure environment where couples may work through issues, air grievances and reestablish trust while being guided by a qualified expert. Couples counseling gives spouses the skills and techniques needed to work through the difficulties of infidelity, even though the path to recovery may be difficult (Doss et al., 2014).
How Do I Find A Couples Counselor Specializing In Infidelity?
One of the most important steps in the healing process can be to find a couple’s therapist who specializes in infidelity. Begin by looking up local therapists in your area with a specialty in couples therapy and specifically in infidelity. Directories are available on websites like Psychology Today, where you can select therapists according to their specialization and geographic area.
Furthermore, don’t be afraid to get referrals from dependable family members, friends or medical professionals. It is important that you work with a therapist that makes you feel confident in their ability to help you heal and move toward a solution.
The Bottom Line
To sum up, dealing with the fallout from infidelity is a difficult process that is full of hurt, betrayal and uncertainty. Nonetheless, a route towards healing and reconciliation can be taken by couples with commitment, honest conversation and the direction of qualified therapists.
A methodical and comprehensive strategy for restoring trust, encouraging forgiveness and fortifying the relationship between partners is provided by intensive couples counseling. Even if the road to recovery could be difficult, it is not unpassable. Couples who are resilient and committed to one another can come out of the chaos caused by infidelity with a fresh sense of understanding, hope and connection.
References
Bradbury, T. N., & Bodenmann, G. (2020). Interventions for Couples. The Annual Review of Clinical Psychology. https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-071519-020546
Doss, B., Mitchell, A., Georgia Salivar, E., Biesen, J., & Rowe, L. (2014). Improvements in Closeness, Communication, and Psychological Distress Mediate Effects of Couple Therapy for Veterans. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 83. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038541
Fife, S. T., Gossner, J. D., Theobald, A., Allen, E., Rivero, A., & Koehl, H. (2023). Couple healing from infidelity: A grounded theory study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(12), 3882–3905. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231177874
Institute for Family Studies. (2018, January 10). Who Cheats More? The Demographics of Infidelity in America. Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
Rokach, A., & Chan, S. H. (2023). Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(5), 3904. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20053904
Scott, S. B., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Allen, E. S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education. Couple & Family Psychology, 2(2), 131–145. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032025
Selterman, D., Garcia, J. R., & Tsapelas, I. (2021). What Do People Do, Say, and Feel When They Have Affairs? Associations between Extradyadic Infidelity Motives with Behavioral, Emotional, and Sexual Outcomes. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 47(3), 238–252. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2020.1856987
Sly, K. (2021). The Mental Health Impact of Infidelity in Marriages: A Literature Review. California State University. https://scholarworks.calstate.edu/downloads/9g54xp781
Written By: Dr. Wasif MD
Edited by: Madison Vargas, BS
Medically Reviewed By: Dr. Kyle Zrenchik, PhD, LMFT
Published : 04/26/2024
Disclaimer: ALL IN Therapy Clinic aims to improve people’s lives. We do this through providing effective mental health counseling by passionate professionals. Inspired by this, we write content for your own education. Also, our content is researched, cited, reviewed, and edited by licensed mental health professionals. However, the information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, it should not be used in place of the advice of a qualified healthcare provider.
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