Entering into marriage is a significant life decision that frequently requires overcoming worries and uncertainties. When debating something as life altering as whether or not to call of your own wedding, you should take the time to address that thoughtfully and carefully. We’ll go over five crucial questions in this article in order to help you gain more clarity in answering this question confidently.
Table Of Contents
Have You Directly Addressed The Problems?
Will Pushing The Wedding Back Give More Time For Change?
Does Your Partner Want To Change?
Nerves or Fears Are Normal, But Significant Doubts Are Not
Who Can You Talk To Who Is Supportive And Non-Biased?
The After Thought
Have You Directly Addressed The Problems?
Effective communication is essential to any successful relationship, but it becomes much more important when thinking about getting married. Have you been honest about the things that are making you hesitant or doubtful? Many couples discover that discussing issues openly, as opposed to allowing them to linger unresolved, can result in understanding and closure.
Establishing a solid basis for any relationship requires open communication. According to a Journal of Marriage and Family study, couples who communicated openly about their issues were 50% more likely to say they were satisfied with their relationships (Lavner et al., 2016).
Talking is only one aspect of communication; the other is paying attention to what your partner has to say and how they may feel through verbal and nonverbal cues. It entails establishing a secure environment where each partner feels heard and understood. You may create the foundation for a stronger and more resilient relationship by confronting issues head-on.
Will Pushing The Wedding Back Give More Time For Change?
Although delaying the wedding may seem like a big deal, it may be the wisest course of action if there are unresolved problems. Time is an incredibly useful tool because it gives both individuals the chance to work through issues, develop individually and deepen their bond.
One might easily lose sight of the importance of timing in the hustle of wedding planning. A Personal Relationship study found that couples who postponed their nuptials by several months or more experienced greater levels of long-term marital happiness than couples who married quickly (Huston, 2009).
It might be transforming to take a step back and give yourself and your relationships some time to flourish. It offers a chance to reevaluate goals, focus on self-improvement and lay a stronger basis for the future. A better and more resilient marriage may result from postponing the wedding if both parties are dedicated to making the required adjustments.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
Does Your Partner Want To Change?
A good relationship must have both parties demonstrating an honest desire to grow and accept each other’s shortcomings. A partner who is committed to the development and sustainability of the relationship will work through the issues that are causing you to feel doubtful.
Encouraging each other to grow personally is a lifelong journey, and it requires support from both partners. According to a research in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the likelihood of long-term success in a relationship was 30% higher when both partners actively pursued personal development (Lee et al., 2018).
It’s crucial to remember that change should not be demanded of one party alone, but rather decided upon by both. To resolve problems and progress as a couple, work must be willingly put in by both partners. If your partner is reluctant to change or refuses to see the value of both personal and relationship growth, it could be a sign that your partner is not ready for a serious, committed relationship.
Nerves or Fears Are Normal, But Significant Doubts Are Not
Feeling nervous or anxious about the future before the wedding is common. But there’s a difference between regular anxiety and pervasive uncertainty. Consider if your worries are just passing anxiety or lingering concerns that could jeopardize the very basis of your marriage.
Pre-wedding anxiety affected 80% of couples, per a survey conducted by the StudyFinds. However, just twenty percent of those cases indicated deeper interpersonal issues (Naughton, 2023). It’s critical to practice sincere self-reflection in order to distinguish between typical wedding nerves and serious uncertainties. Does the root of your worries lie in a fundamental mismatch in values, goals, or compatibility, or are they specific difficulties that may be resolved? It’s important to recognize the difference between passing concerns and serious warning signs that could endanger the marriage in the long run.
Who Can You Talk To Who Is Supportive And Non-Biased?
It can be difficult to decide whether to call off a wedding, so getting help is essential. People in your life, including friends and family can be a helpful resource during this time. Having a solid support system can offer insightful information and comforting emotional assistance (Drageset, 2021).
Advice from friends and family members may be influenced by their own prejudices or life experiences. To assist you in making decisions, think about consulting a certified counselor or therapist who can provide you with a neutral opinion. Professionals who specialize in couples counseling and premarital counseling can offer insightful advice and useful tools for navigating tricky interpersonal situations.
The After Thought
The decision to postpone a wedding is a very personal and difficult one. You can obtain an understanding of your circumstances and clarity by addressing the important concerns this article raises.
Do not forget that getting expert advice, such as couples counseling, can also be very helpful in making these difficult choices. Having a comprehensive understanding of your partner, yourself, and the dynamics of your relationship is crucial when entering into a major commitment like marriage.
Last but not least, it’s important to consider your options carefully before calling off a wedding. It necessitates thoughtful consideration, honest discussion, and a readiness to face difficult situations. The most crucial thing is to put your health and the health of your relationship first, regardless of whether you decide to go through with the wedding or reconsider your commitment. In order to have a happy and long-lasting union, it is imperative that you approach marriage with a clear head, a strong heart, and a commitment to marriage.
References
Drageset, J. (2021). Social Support. In G. Haugan & M. Eriksson (Eds.), Health Promotion in Health Care – Vital Theories and Research (pp. 137–144). Springer International Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-63135-2_11
Huston, T. L. (2009). What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail. Personal Relationships, 16(3), 301–327. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01225.x
Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2016). Does Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication? Journal of Marriage and the Family, 78(3), 680–694. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12301
Lee, D. S., Ybarra, O., Gonzalez, R., & Ellsworth, P. (2018). I-Through-We: How Supportive Social Relationships Facilitate Personal Growth. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(1), 37–48. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217730371
Naughton, S. (2023, August 13). Wedding day worries: 7 in 10 say stressing over their appearance spoiled their special day. Study Finds. https://studyfinds.org/wedding-day-stress-appearance/
Written By: Dr. Wasif MD
Edited by: Madison Vargas, BS
Medically Reviewed By: Dr. Kyle Zrenchik, PhD, LMFT
Published : 02/19/2024
Disclaimer: ALL IN Therapy Clinic aims to improve people’s lives. We do this through providing effective mental health counseling by passionate professionals. Inspired by this, we write content for your own education. Also, our content is researched, cited, reviewed, and edited by licensed mental health professionals. However, the information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, it should not be used in place of the advice of a qualified healthcare provider.
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