People have emotional affairs for many of the same reasons people have sexual affairs, argues the Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy. Common reasons include:
– believing that one’s spouse won’t meet their emotional needs.
– someone that doesn’t create boundaries with others.
– one seeking something to experience to that isn’t present in their relationship.
Let’s break each one of these common reasons down.
Unmet Emotional Needs:
People get into committed relationships and marriages because they want to build a life together. This also includes build an emotionally close relationship. However, not all relationships are emotionally close.
This can be because of a lot of reasons. These committed relationship no longer meets each other emotional needs, and lead people to feel lonely and susceptible to an affair. When an emotional need is not met, people can intentionally or unintentionally get that need met outside of the relationship.
Many people struggle with creating healthy boundaries with other people. They may not be able to hold back certain things and may move too quickly and too deeply when creating a relationship with another person. They may attach to people they should not, which can contribute to an emotional affair.
Codependency is often a struggle with these people.
Not all emotional affairs are due to a problem in their relationship. Sometimes people find themselves wanting to experience something their relationship simply does not have.
For example, if one person lost a parent, and they begin a friendship with another person who had also lost a parent, they share something unique and special. Over time, that platonic relationship can turn into an emotional affair.