What is a Sexless Marriage and Are You In One?

No couple imagines on the day they get married that someday they will stop having sex. Yet, 15 to 20 percent of all couples experience long periods of time where they are no longer sexually intimate.

If this is a situation you find yourself in, read below to learn more about sexless marriages, the impact that is has on people, and some ideas of ways to address it. What is a sexless marriage? How do you know you are in a sexless marriage?  Let’s find this out.

Table of Contents

(click on a question below to be directed quickly)

What is a sexless marriage?
How frequently does that average couple have sex?
Why do marriages become sexless?
How long do sexless marriages last?
How do I deal with a spouse that does not want sex?
Is having sex once per month considered a sexless marriage?
How often should married couples have sex?
What age do people stop being sexually active?
How do you survive a sexless marriage without cheating?
Does sexless marriage justify adultery?
Is a sexless marriage grounds for divorce?
References

What Is A Sexless Marriage?

A sexless marriage is one in which a couple is not being sexually intimate. This can be for a variety of reasons. The most common reason is because of a lack of desire on one or both parts.

When one or both partners are no longer interested in sex, it can signal significant problems underlying the relationship will soon experience. A sexless relationship can also be the result of long-standing problems.

It’s important to understand that a short-term cessation of sex does not make your marriage sexless. Instead, sex must have stopped happening for 1 year or longer.

How Frequently Does The Average Couple Have Sex?

The average couple has sex 60 times per year, or once per week, according to famed sexual therapist Barry McCarthy. Many couples have sex more frequent than weekly, and many couples have sex less than weekly. It is important that each couple identify what is the healthiest sexual frequency for them. Further, one should know how much their partner desires sex in general.

In general, both men and women both report physical intimacy to be an important part of a relationship. Sexual intercourse is one aspect of physical intimacy.

It is also common that couples will go through periods of infrequent sex. A couples becomes a sexless couple when a period of infrequent sex lasts a year or longer.

Why Do Marriages Become Sexless?

Marriages become sexless for a variety of reasons. Common reasons are a lack of desire, postpartum depression, frequent marital conflict, or a recent marital crisis or personal crisis that has impacted the client.

When couples begin noticing a lack of sexual contact in their relationship, they should see that as a crucial time to address it directly and discern what is causing the change.

Top reasons marriages become sexless:

1- Low or non-existent sex drive
2- Relationship issues
3- Lack of love and closeness
4- Unresolved trauma in one or both partners’ past
5- Chronic Illness or medical reasons
6- Sexual dysfunction or sexual pain
7- Childcare stresses or family dynamics
8- Lack of sexual desire or attraction
9- Hormonal imbalance
10- Mental health issues, issues with Confidence

Do Sexless Marriages Last?

When couples have frequent sex, they are less likely to divorce and will report an overall higher level of satisfaction when compared to sexless marriages.

Thus, sexual frequency is related to marital satisfaction. When a marriage stops experiencing sexual frequency, it may serve as a signal of a problem underlying the relationship.

Couples that stop having sex are also more likely to divorce or break-up.