35 Questions To Ask For Better Sex
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35 Questions To Ask For Better Sex

Open and honest communication is essential to developing a happy and rewarding sexual relationship. Inquiring carefully about desires, health, and turn-ons is not just an effective method to learn about someone; it’s also a great approach to building closeness and a connection that goes beyond bodily. By using these questions as a guide, you can better understand your partner’s needs, desires, and boundaries and provide an environment where vulnerability is accepted and trust can grow.



Table Of Contents

Questions About Desire

Questions About Health and Safe-Sex Practices

Questions About Turn Ons







Questions About Desire


In order to find common ground and explore previously uncharted areas of their intimacy, couples might find mutual understanding by exploring their wants.



  • Regarding our sexual relationship, what are your strongest desires?
  • Which particular scenarios or imaginations genuinely make you feel attracted to someone?
  • What method do you prefer to use in the bedroom to express your preferences or wants?
  • Are there any things you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t mentioned yet?
  • What form of emotional connection most appeals to you?
  • Do you find that certain settings or times of day make you crave intimacy more?
  • What certain behaviors or gestures give you a sense of being loved and desired?
  • Do you have an imagination or scenario in mind that you’d like to explore together?
  • How would you prefer to be approached or enticed to heighten your desire?
  • How do we make each other’s needs and wants in the bedroom our top priorities?
  • Would you like more attention in any particular erogenous zones during intimacy?
  • What is your opinion on incorporating novel aspects into our sexual lives, such as role-playing or lingerie?




Questions About Health and Safe-Sex Practices


In a relationship, talking about health and safe sex practices is not only a matter of duty; it’s also an essential first step in building mutual respect, trust, and communication. These questions are a vital link between mental health and a physical connection. By creating a foundation for both partners to feel safe and taken care of, having an open conversation about sexual health encourages a shared commitment to well-being. It creates a safer physical environment and establishes the foundation for an open and sincere relationship when people are aware of each other’s testing history and preferred measures of protection.


In addition, talking about health-related issues or ailments guarantees that both partners are aware of any possible difficulties. Adding safe sex practices into conversations goes beyond the physical connection; it fosters a culture of consent by setting boundaries and highlighting how important it is to respect each other’s comfort zones.


  • How comfortable are you talking freely about sexual health?
  • Have you recently undergone testing for STIs (sexually transmitted infections)?
  • What kind of protection or contraception do you prefer to use?
  • Do any medical issues or abnormalities exist that could affect our ability to have sexual relations?
  • What is your opinion on introducing safer sexual practices into our intimate interactions?
  • Would you mind talking about emergency contraception and how comfortable you are talking about its use in case it becomes necessary?
  • Are you open to talking through possibilities and coming to a decision as a couple in the event of an unanticipated pregnancy?
  • Which particular sexual behaviors or activities do you think carry a higher danger, and how would you wish to handle safety in those circumstances?
  • Do you have any particular rules or boundaries in mind for our sexual safety and health?
  • What is your preferred method of communication for discussing changes in your sexual health, and how much information do you feel comfortable sharing?
  • What do you mean by “mutual responsibility” in the context of sexual health, and how can we make sure we both actively support a safe setting?


Questions for Better Sex

Photo by Joshua Mcknight



Questions About Turn Ons


Talking about what turns you on is a crucial part of developing a strong and lasting sexual relationship. These inquiries open doors to each partner’s previously unexplored passions and establish the foundation for a more intimate and tailored experience. Couples that explore turn-ons candidly go on a journey of self-discovery together, figuring out the subtleties that make each personal moment exciting in its own way.


These questions help build a roadmap for navigating the ups and downs of desire in a relationship, which is an advantage that goes beyond the sensual delights of the bedroom.


  • Which physical signals or touches most excite you?
  • Do you want specific parts of your body to be given more attention during intimate moments?
  • Are there any certain rhythms or tempos that you prefer in the bedroom?
  • To what extent does verbal communication play a role in sex?
  • Which flavors, smells, or textures in particular get you more aroused?
  • How do you feel about experimenting with different sorts of lubricants or sensations?
  • Which role-playing scenarios or outfits particularly interest you?
  • What kind of environment or setting makes you feel more at ease during sex?
  • What are your thoughts on including toys or other accessories in our sexual routines?
  • Does sensory deprivation or heightened sensory experiences during intimacy ignite more passion in you?
  • What specific sounds or genres of music make you feel better overall while you’re in intimate moments?
  • What effects does the presence of natural factors have on your arousal level, such as temperature or lighting?





In simple terms, it’s the art of co-creating a thriving, profoundly linked relationship—navigating the complexities of needs, health, and turn-ons through open communication—rather than just a means to pleasure. By serving as links, these inquiries promote mutual vulnerability, trust, and understanding. Couples go on a voyage of mutual discovery and establish a foundation that goes beyond physical intimacy by getting to know the subtleties of each other’s wants and preferences. Benefits extend well beyond the bedroom, creating a setting where permission is crucial, communication is abundant, and both couples actively weave together a fabric of mutual satisfaction. The conversation is continuing and adds to the foundation of love and closeness.











Written By: Dr. Wasif MD

Edited by: Madison Vargas, BS

Medically Reviewed By: Dr. Kyle Zrenchik, PhD, LMFT

Published : 02/12/2024


Disclaimer: ALL IN Therapy Clinic aims to improve people’s lives. We do this through providing effective mental health counseling by passionate professionals. Inspired by this, we write content for your own education. Also, our content is researched, cited, reviewed, and edited by licensed mental health professionals. However, the information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Additionally, it should not be used in place of the advice of a qualified healthcare provider.

Written and reviewed by

Madison Vargas

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