Is it Normal to Think about Divorce?
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Is it Normal to Think about Divorce?

 

 

 

Yes, it is normal to think about divorce. If you or your partner have had thoughts of divorce but are not ready to leave the relationship it may be worth talking to a couples therapist to explore what is fueling these thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

Is it normal to think about divorce?

 

Yes, it is normal to think about divorce. An article in Family Process reported that 10% of married adults in Nebraska had thought about a divorce in the past two years.

 

This same study found that most people who thought about divorce were what they called “soft thinkers;” meaning that they thought about it less frequently and reported more hope and fewer problems in their relationship.

 

If you or your partner have had thoughts of divorce but are not ready to leave the relationship it may be worth talking to a couples therapist to explore what is fueling these thoughts.

 

 

What are the main causes of divorce?

 

An article in the Journal of Marriage and Family outlines a variety of factors that have been linked to divorce. Some of these risk factors are ones that you have no control over, such as being poor, experiencing unemployment, or having parents that are divorced.

 

It is thought that factors such as lower income and unemployment lead to an increased level of stress, which has been shown to make couples less happy over time. Another factor that can increase the risk of divorce is having been previously married.

 

One school of thought is that as we cannot divorce ourselves, so we bring whatever issues we had from our first marriage to our second- that is unless we seek out help to address those issues.

 

Other common relationship issues that can lead to divorce include domestic violence, frequent conflict, infidelity/cheating, the number relationship problems, weaker commitment, and lower levels of love and trust between spouses.

 

However, the article also stated that it is not just having one or two risk factors, rather that the risk factors are cumulative and typically lead to divorce through high levels of conflict and unhappiness, and low levels of commitment.

 

 

 

Is divorce better than an unhappy marriage?

 

Unfortunately, like most of life there are no hard and fast rules for if divorce is a better option than staying in your marriage. A variety of factors are thought to contribute to how someone adjusts after a divorce.

 

Researchers at the University of Nebraska and Pennsylvania State University found that having a higher income, dating someone (or remarriage), positive attitudes about divorce (prior to having gotten one), and being the partner who initiated the divorce were linked to better adjustment.

 

There are a variety of ways to be unhappy in your marriage and unhappy divorce, due to that it is not possible to say which option is better.

 

One thing you can think about is how much hope and love there is in your marriage. If there is a some amount of hope and love it might be worth considering couples counseling as a way to address issues you are experiencing.

 

 

 

What impact does divorce have on children?

 

For most children, the impact of divorce will be negative. Numerous studies have demonstrated that children of divorce, overall, do worse in general life happiness markers. They are less likely to marry, are more like